Pirates Fans Should Hope for Josh Bell to Slump in July

Being a Pittsburgh Pirates fan is hell. Plain and simple. Two decades of losing can absolutely demoralize a fan base (I see you @knicks).

So when the Pirates actually have a few decent players, it’s hard not to fall in love with the plucky underdog, the kids brought up through the farm system making huge waves in the MLB.

Last night, the Pirates crushed the Cubs 18-5. A huge win, born the back of Josh Bell’s three homers. Our first larger-than life star since McCutchen ’13 and ’14. An undeniable all-star leading the league in doubles, 4th in homers, and batting above .300

Stars like Bell are few and far between in Pittsburgh, which is why I hope, with everything in me as a fan, that Josh Bell slumps hard in July.

The Pirates would love nothing more than to trade our best players for “young assets.” I’ve watched this joke of a franchise go through the motions of building through the draft, acquiring young assets, peaking without any FA acquisitions, then plummeting back to earth so many times, all the while crying into my Jolly Roger flag.

Josh Bell enters arbitration after this season, which means Bob Nutting has been creaming himself to trade the man since his first at-bat of the year, rather than pay him a fair salary. THE PIRATES ARE BOTTOM OF THE LEAGUE IN PAYROLL. 27th out of 30.

If you can’t even pay a third of what tops teams are paying out, why even put a team on the field?

If Josh Bell doesn’t slow down now, he’ll be on the trading block faster than you can say “lemonadeee!!!”

In conclusion: Fuck Nutting, pay the damn man.

The Warriors Just Retired KD’s Jersey…?

The Warriors majority owner released a statement “unofficially” retiring KD’s Jersey

But..why..? Sure, he helped them to two championships. Sure, he was arguably the best player in the league over that span, but to retire his number the SAME day as KD’s camp badmouthed the warriors organization? Yeesh

Durant felt like a “second fiddle” and “disrespected” by the organization and the fans during his time in GS? Lacob, buddy, he’s not coming back. Put his stuff in a box and move on to D’Lo 😂

I guess it’s a nice sentiment..?

The Nets are about to be the greatest 3-legged-race contenders of all time

Between KD and Kyrie, you’ve got 3 perfectly good legs. Take them bad boys out to a field, tie em up, greatest show this flat earth’s ever seen.

I’m not a doctor, sure, but I do know a thing or two about having 3 legs. And sure it’s difficult to walk sometimes, ya know, carrying that dead weight around. But KD’s got plenty of experience carrying dead weight, just ask Rich Kleiman’s career.

Look, I don’t know much about basketball, but I will say, you ever get two men held together by only a rope and missing ligaments? Ratings BONANZA. Not only would I watch that team, I’d buy a half jersey of each.

P.S. if the Nets found out Derek Rose AND Klay Thompson were free agents? Hooo buddy